Parenting and Teaching

I began taking an online class on classroom management a few weeks ago.  (Amazingly our local public library offers a set of local university classes for free and this is one of them.)  Around the same time, I read a review of a parenting book that looked interesting so I downloaded that and began reading it.  I have a class full of first graders and a house with a 2 and 4 year old so both seemed like good ideas.  As I begin moving through both I realize they say almost the same thing!  I don't know why this is surprising to me.  I mean the basics of love and discipline really don't change regardless of who gave birth to the children.  I guess I just expected... something else.  I am not done with the book or the class yet, and some ideas seem more obvious, but some very interesting things I have learned so far...

Take the "I like" or "I love" or "I appreciate" out of your praise.  Unless a child does something directly for you...say draws a picture or makes you a ceramic cat... do not connect their achievements to your approval.  This just teaches the child to do things because they want to please you instead of learning that they should be responsible and behave correctly in society or they should work hard to get where they want to be.  I was blown away by this because in the classroom I am always saying things like "I love the way Ann has her safe body and voice off."  or "I really appreciate the way Jack is working hard on his writing."  Instead I should say things like "Ann, great job on remembering to have a safe body and voice off."  or "Jack, this is good writing.  I can see you have been working very hard on it."  The parenting book says the same thing!  All this time I thought I was doing well by pointing out the positives (which is good) but I always, always connect it to myself.

Second (and I knew this, but it was a good reminder AND showed up in both resources) give choices anytime you can and put them in a positive light so the positive consequence shines through.  For example, instead of saying "If you don't eat dinner you can't have desert." say "Sure, you can have desert as soon as you finish dinner!"  The outcome is exactly the same but the way you say it highlights the positive.  In the classroom, "You may go outside when your work is through." instead of "If you don't finish your work you will have to stay in for study hall instead of going outside to play."

So maybe all of you knew all of that already, but its been great for me.  I am a parent to so many children!  I feel I still have some learning to do to really handle a classroom with ease, set all of my boundaries, and enforce consequences in a way that just comes naturally.  Any other great tips you can give me for seamless classroom management?